We recently moved to Fairbanks, AK. We began searching for a church home, and about four churches later we found. However, I'm still left a little uneasy about. I'm still not completely sure that it's the right fit, but until I get that big neon sign that it isn't right, we'll keep at it.
Last Sunday, I had a conversation with the pastor that left my little uneasy. He walked up and said good morning and that it was nice to be able to hear the trumpet that morning during worship. I said good morning and agreed. He then looked at me and said, "Now let me sure I got this right, He basically grew up in the church, but you've only been a Christian for about 15 years?" I responds with yes. He then asked, "Then why does it seem that you are stronger when it comes to spiritual matters and you appear to be the spiritual leader?" My response, "Now don't take this as me saying it's bad to grow up in the church and the people that do aren't able to have a deep meaningful relationship with God, but sometimes, when you've fought for, struggle through, and wrestled out your relationship with God, you have a deep relationship with God." He gives me an ok, and I continue, "I've made some request of God that just makes my relationship with God more intense and deeper than James." He responds with "I see." So I say, "If it's an issue, that I'm the spiritual leader in my family, I can tell James, I'm no longer happy here, and we can go back to church shopping." Then there was a long pause, like he was thinking this over. I'm standing beginning to fill awkward. When he says, "Well, you know the bible says it should be James." I respond with, "I learn best with object lesson, and I had one a couple years, I was helping a group build a house down in Mexico, now my role was to help out, and encourage, not necessarily be the leader. It was the groups first, and the youth pastor wasn't really suited to be the foreman, the group need someone to be the foreman, now I could step up and next that place because I was most suited to do it, or I could fill the role that I normally take as support and hope the house gets built. There are some positions you don't leave empty, you don't wait for the person who is suppose to fill the role to fill it, sometimes, someone else has to step up and do it. The spiritual leader of a family is not one to be left vacant. Now if James grows his relationship and decides he needs to be the spiritual leader, I will gladly step down and let him have, but I'm not about leave that position empty until he is ready. So you can accept us, you can do something to change that, or you can tell me that James needs to be the spiritual leader, and we can go look for another." Pastor takes a few minutes to think this over, and then says to me, "I'll take option number 2, I'm going to do something, but until something changes, I'll work on number 1." I looked at him and said, "Thank you, and besides, James and I have yet to do anything in the "traditional" way."
