The End of the year letter

We hope this year has found you well and God has blessed you richly. We had very exciting year. A lot has happened and many changes have happened, but we are still happy.

January started off with a little bit of a bang. For New Year’s Eve, we drove down to Brandon, FL to see Jason, one of Michelle’s friends from Korea. However along the way, Michelle lost control of the Mazda 3 and crashed, no other cars were involved. We were wearing our seatbelts and the airbags deployed so only a few scrapes and bumps. We really enjoyed spending time with Jason. We still had full coverage, and got a nice large check from the insurance company.

In February, James got a weekend pass and we went to Panama City, FL for Valentine’s Day. We went to the zoo and had dinner at Ruth’s Chris. We also took advantage of the President’s Day sale, and took the insurance check to the Toyota dealership and bought a four wheel drive Toyota Rav 4.

March came and we parted ways at the end of it. Michelle went out to San Diego and helped out with Amor. James had to watch the house get packed up and clean the house by himself. He did such a good job that there were no charges.

In April, James went to ALC (Advance Leadership Course) which was at Joint Base Little Creek Fort Story. Michelle left Mexico earlier than she had planned, but she went back to Phoenix, and got to help with Amor at San Carlos Indian Reservation. The houses are larger with more rooms and plumbing and electrical. She learned how to lay tile. James picked up a new lead pipe for his Bach trumpet.

May was blessing. Michele flew out to Virginia Beach for Memorial weekend. We went to the aquarium and enjoyed the time together. We also got to see Mary Beth and Ben. Michelle also got meet the Wagners. They are the couple that James spent most Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons at their house while he was there for AIT (Advance Individual Training). He went over there while he was there for ALC too.

June was a very busy month. Michelle got to attend her friend Jillian’s wedding. James was one of the best drum majors, so he got to drum major for the AIT soldiers. He also graduated with honors, second highest in his class. He then made the drive to Phoenix in 2 days. He got to meet Big Grandpa. Michelle coordinated her friend Annamarie’s wedding and James played for it. James, Martio and Michelle loaded up the car and headed for Marysville, CA. We got to spend about a week there. We helped out with VBS and got to take his parents out to dinner at Ruth’s Chris. We then started our drive to Washington so we could get on the ferry. Along the way, we stopped in Oregon to see Michelle’s friend Jenny, and the Tillamook Cheese Factory. We stayed a couple of days at James’s Aunt Lucy’s house in Tacoma, WA. We got to see the 56^th Army Band play some swing music.

We started off July by driving over to Bellingham, WA to board the ferry for Alaska. We found that Martio either had to go in her kennel or stay in the car. We decided to leave her in the car and not set up her kennel on the lower car deck. She didn’t eat or drink much. Michelle went to the car and took her out during the car deck calls. Our car was on the upper car deck, so during the day, Michelle got to take her out on the back deck of the boat. One time while Michelle was out, she got to watch Orca Whales jumping. She didn’t have her camera and James was watching a movie so there are no pictures. Martio did really great considering everything she had to put up with. Michelle was worried she would have a hard time once we learned she would have to stay in the car. Martio and Michelle walked off the boat and James drove the car off and repacked the car to continue the trip. Martio wasn’t thrilled to get back in the car, but we still had about a day of driving to do. We arrived at Fort Wainwright safe and sound. We stayed at the hotel on post until we found our house. We went to Pioneer Park for Michelle’s birthday and a dinner cruise for our anniversary. We found a house up one of the mountains about 15 miles outside of Fairbanks, it’s about 15-30 minutes from Fort Wainwright, it depends on the amount of snow and traffic. We have to have water delivered and the internet isn’t at all desirable.

August is when we seemed to really settle in. We got to know the people in the band and found our church home. The Tises arrived to live in the other half of the duplex house we are in. They have been really great neighbors.

September, Michelle started working in AWANA and the women’s bible study also started up. She started Physical Therapy for her hip for the third time; hoping that the third time’s the charm. James went to a trap shooting competition and won a rack of ribs and two Cornish game hens.

October, James went on the men’s retreat with church. We also started attending a small group. We chose the young married group who watch a sermon series on Love and Respect. It explains how women need love and men need respect. It explains how a wife can give respect to her husband and how a husband can give love to his wife. We went over to North Pole, and visited Santa’s house. We had them send letters out to Josh and Haley (our nephew and niece). The band sent James down to Anchorage and Sitika. James met Michelle’s friend Kyle. They did a biathlon together. James also got to do ALIT. It’s cold weather training. While James was in Sitika, Michelle took Martio to the vet. She had stopped eating. By the time Michelle brought her in she had gone into kidney failure caused by something she ate while she roamed the woods around the house when we were outside, cancer of the kidneys, or kidney stones. Michelle made the choice to put her down. Pauline and Dave, our neighbors, were there. Pauline drove Michelle into town to pick her up from the vet and Dave drove us over to the shelter where they put her down. It was hard at first mainly because James was gone, but we both grieved and moved on.

November started off with James going to the promotion board and passing it. Michelle received a card from the Department of Education stating that she should have her teaching certificate in about 120 days. James went to a skeet competition and won an apple pie. James went to the NCO of the Quarter board in Anchorage, which wasn’t as successful as the first board. Michelle finished Physical Therapy hoping her hip is better. We had some winds come down from the real North Pole and temperatures dropped down to -40, but they’ve gone and things seem to have warmed back to around 0 again. We’ve gone ice skating, sledding and to a hockey game. Michelle applied for finical aid from the church to help with an Amor trip and met with the mission committee.

James hasn’t had much luck with his shot gun and animals. Michelle will be applying for teaching jobs next year. The band’s Christmas concert is in town this year. James is hoping to get promoted to Staff Sergeant (E-6) next year. Michelle is hoping to go to Johannesburg, Africa for Amor’s Woman of Strength trip in July. During the break up season, we have plans of looking for a new dog. We hope that this Christmas is a blessing to you. We appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers.

The little black Dog

In October, James and I had to deal with a lot. The loss of Martio brought on a lot for both of us. We each had our own issues that needed to be worked through.

As an army wife, there is always that fear of deployment, even as a band wife, it's possible. Being dependent as I am, I worry that I'll be left to deal with something by myself. James goes off to Sitka. After not eating for about a week, I take Martio to the vet. I get off the phone with the vet, and my phone rings. It's Jen, she's one of the leaders of our small group. She wants to know if would like to come over for dinner. I take Martio to the vet, and leave her there so they can run tests. They call me later and basically she's gone into kidney failure. After calling James, I know, I can't drive and if I have to make that choice, I won't be able drive. I go next door and ask Pauline if she can drive me. After talking with vet, it seems to be the only choice to make. While we were talking with the vet, Dave, Pauline's husband, finished class and drove over to the vet. We load up his truck and drive over to shelter, Pauline and Dave go inside and take care of my paperwork, and we drop Martio off. Dave drives me home. I make some calls and go have dinner with Jen and her family. Wednesday is when the morning bible study meets, and last week before James left, Kathy, the leader, was going to be gone, but she said it was up to us if we wanted to still meet. We decided we would. I saw all this as God knowing how much I need help and how much people can help me. All these relationships were in place well before the middle of October. God took care of me. If He'll supple when James is on TDY and it's something small like the dog, what is going to do if something awful happens while James is deployed? I know the answer is more.

James is struggle was a little different. He sees himself as the protector. He sees himself as the one who should take care of me. This was hard from him, it's very hard to take care and protect someone when you are on an island far from them. He felt like he let me down. When he came home, he told this how he feels. He really felt like he failed. It was hard for him to bear. I tried to reassure him that God took great care him. He said that was because God is understudy. I explained to him that it's really the other way around. God is the ultimate comforter and protector. He only has the job because God trusts him with me. He is just one of the people around to do the job for Him. God allows him the responsibility of taking care of me. If God choices to use others than we have to allow him. Besides he did a great job, I probably called about 5 times on Monday, and woke him up on Tuesday and he didn't get mad at me. James has come to terms with being God's understudy.

We each had something to learn. God knows how needy and dependent I am and He is fully aware of it. I now know this. James thought he was supposed be my ultimate comforter and protector, he isn't. James now know that he has this role most of the time, but with his job, he can't always have it.

I loved my little dog because to me, she reflected God's love. Dog is God backwards. My dog loved me just like God. In her last day, she did a great thing she reflect God's love to both of us in a light.

This One has to be Different

Often there's a post on facebook about military wives. It'll talk about how they are strong, and independent. If you watched any movie about the military that shows the wife of a soldier, she's strong and independent. If you've seen Army Wives or The Unit, those wives are strong and independent. So I ask, what's wrong with me? Why am I different? If you have spent anytime with me and have gotten to know, I'm dependent as the come. There isn't anybody out there who is more dependent than I am. So did God forgot to give my independence or did He have another reason for not giving me any.

See, I have a very intense relationship with Christ. I saw intense because I'm one of those Christian that has removed Christ from the box, and I let him have every aspect, every corner. There isn't a place in my life I keep from him. He knows more than just my name and the numbers of hair on my head, he knows more than my deepest thoughts, he sees more than my coming and goings. He knows that if he gives me an once of independence, I wouldn't go to him. I wouldn't depend on him. Sure I turn to people first, but after they fail or they just aren't there, I turn to Christ. Now I can tell you he's working on getting me turn to him first before I go to people. The last two times, I've really need James, he's been on TDY. Not in the city, gone, the band off playing somewhere. My only choice to depend on Christ.

So does an army wife have to be independent? I don't think she has to be, as long as, she depends on the right one.

I AM a young army wife.

I am a young army wife. Now when I saw young I'm not talking about my age. I'm sitting on the edge of thirty. I'm not old by means 30 isn't old, but I'm not young anymore either. However my marriage is young. It's only a been a year. But it's been an adventure.

Being a army wife is different for being a normal wife. Now I'm an army band wife which is a little different. We have a different a row to hoe. We have army in the mix, but we also have band stuff in the mix too. Not every band unit is deployable. So we don't always have that dark cloud looming over us. We haven't gone through a deployment so I can't tell you what that's like. I don't envy those families. In fact my heart goes out those families, I pray for you everyday and that our troops will be able to come home and stay for awhile. As a band wife though, I do sit at home by myself. My husband goes away for days. He's also a trumpet player which often means gigs can come up with very little warning. Whenever a solider dies, duty calls for my husband. We could on Monday make plans to go out for the weekend and by Wednesday they are out the window. We pack up and move. Every few years, it's time to change the place we live. We have to cut bargains too. Like you can only go there as family if you'll spend at least three years. It can be worth and exciting. There are many other things that make of us different. We have to learn who to work through things and do things by ourselves.

On the other hand, the army wives are like the other wives out there. Some of us work, others stay home. Some have kids in the mix, and other choice not to. Some of us go to church and other are clueless about God. We all cherish the moments we have and we make mistakes.

Now the point. My husband told me that he was proud of me and thankful that I'm willing to do things for others. There's another trumpet player in the band here, his married with children, they found the same church as us. I've watched their children a couple of times. On Tuesday night, Sarah wasn't feeling well. She called and asked if could come watch their kids so they could go to the hospital. I said yes, got off the phone and cooked my dinner and head over so I was about 15 early than asked and was willing to stay past midnight if that was need. I made James proud. I feel like I did what was need. We don't have children, it's just James and I. Well, and Martio, but she's low maintenance not like a kid. We lock in the kennel and go on our way. A kindergarten and 4th grader, you can't lock them in kennel. I watched them and put them bed. Stephen came back to the house and I went home. James said he was proud of me. I responded with no big deal, I was just doing what was asked. We don't have kids, and someday we will. I'm just doing what I hope someone else will be doing for me later. Any band wife that needs a sitter, I feel like I should be there. I don't think it would be different if the army was in the mix or not. If I were back home and got the call from someone else, I'm pretty sure I would jump and do the same thing.

We have yet to do anything the "traditional" way

We recently moved to Fairbanks, AK. We began searching for a church home, and about four churches later we found. However, I'm still left a little uneasy about. I'm still not completely sure that it's the right fit, but until I get that big neon sign that it isn't right, we'll keep at it.

Last Sunday, I had a conversation with the pastor that left my little uneasy. He walked up and said good morning and that it was nice to be able to hear the trumpet that morning during worship. I said good morning and agreed. He then looked at me and said, "Now let me sure I got this right, He basically grew up in the church, but you've only been a Christian for about 15 years?" I responds with yes. He then asked, "Then why does it seem that you are stronger when it comes to spiritual matters and you appear to be the spiritual leader?" My response, "Now don't take this as me saying it's bad to grow up in the church and the people that do aren't able to have a deep meaningful relationship with God, but sometimes, when you've fought for, struggle through, and wrestled out your relationship with God, you have a deep relationship with God." He gives me an ok, and I continue, "I've made some request of God that just makes my relationship with God more intense and deeper than James." He responds with "I see." So I say, "If it's an issue, that I'm the spiritual leader in my family, I can tell James, I'm no longer happy here, and we can go back to church shopping." Then there was a long pause, like he was thinking this over. I'm standing beginning to fill awkward. When he says, "Well, you know the bible says it should be James." I respond with, "I learn best with object lesson, and I had one a couple years, I was helping a group build a house down in Mexico, now my role was to help out, and encourage, not necessarily be the leader. It was the groups first, and the youth pastor wasn't really suited to be the foreman, the group need someone to be the foreman, now I could step up and next that place because I was most suited to do it, or I could fill the role that I normally take as support and hope the house gets built. There are some positions you don't leave empty, you don't wait for the person who is suppose to fill the role to fill it, sometimes, someone else has to step up and do it. The spiritual leader of a family is not one to be left vacant. Now if James grows his relationship and decides he needs to be the spiritual leader, I will gladly step down and let him have, but I'm not about leave that position empty until he is ready. So you can accept us, you can do something to change that, or you can tell me that James needs to be the spiritual leader, and we can go look for another." Pastor takes a few minutes to think this over, and then says to me, "I'll take option number 2, I'm going to do something, but until something changes, I'll work on number 1." I looked at him and said, "Thank you, and besides, James and I have yet to do anything in the "traditional" way."

Not so much

James and I have found ourselves in Fairbanks, AK. Upon arriving here, on our list of things to do is find a church. So I went to the internet. I went to Google and typed in churches in Fairbanks and got a list. After looking at the websites and looking at what they had to offer, I had a list of about 6 churches that seemed promising. One of the churches, pointed out that they do special music and then began to list the kinds of performances, brass was listed. Thinking of my husband, I thought this might be a good place for him. So we went. Now I will openly admit that I don't sing beautifully. But I take the line in Psalms where you make a joyful noise unto the Lord. That's how my husband describes my singing, and that's what it is a joyful noise. To me, there are some songs that I can't sing quietly. The song How Great Thou Art, the chorus needs to be song out. We sing this song Sunday morning, and when we get to the Then sings my soul, I start singing more with more joy. There's a handful people that turn around and give a not so friendly look at me. So I'm too thrilled. Next this couple gets up and sings a song, they do a wonderful job and when they are done, nobody claps. I lady plays the violin and does a beautiful job, and again no clapping. Another lady gets up to sing a solo, she does a awesome job and still no clapping. Now this bothers both James and I. When someone does a good job there should be praise for them and God. So after the service, James asks why there is no clapping. The explanation was that when you clap you are praising the person, and since God gave the gift He should be praised and He should be the only one praised. Now I've received praise for using the gifts God has given me. I feel that it's my job to share that praise. As a human, I need that praise too. Especially when I'm using a gift, I'm unsure about. I doubt my ability to write, so when someone tells me what a good job I did it encourages me to keep going. When someone gathers the up the courage to get up in front of group of people and use their gift, there is nothing wrong encouraging that. There are many people who try to keep their gifts to themselves. There are people who will never get up in front of crowd. The fact that you are obedient needs to be encouraged. Now James really enjoyed the service, and thought the pastor did an amazing job a preaching. So Wednesday night rolls around and we go to their Wednesday night service, which is what it was, and not a bible study like the website said. Not that big a of deal. They took prayer request and then someone got up and preached and he did a good job, in fact the message was great and could be applied that night. After we was done talking about sin and how to deal with it and the fruits of the spirit and the flesh, a kid from the youth got up and basically said he had sinned and had asked for forgiveness from his mother and was seeking it from the church. The pastor got up and spent a good 15 talking about what happened in general terms. He even said some things that I don't think should have been said. So basically the message of the evening you really shouldn't kick someone while they are down, and pastor got up and kicked the poor kid. No matter how great a church James and I can't attended a like that. Did the kid need to get up in front of the church ? Yes he did. Did pastor need to shake his finger at the kid for 15 minutes pouring on more shame? Not in front of the church like that. Yes sin needs to be addressed and taken care of, but not aired out for everyone to see. As we were leaving that night, we stopped by the man who ran the music. I was worried that he was coming to address that fact of my joyful noise singing, because of their core values is quality music. However, I was wrong. He runs the young married group and was coming to say Hi to the new young couple. After that another lady told us this was a good church to come to get fed. I don't want to get fed, I can feed myself, I want to be used. Is it a good church? I think so, but I can't just can't go somewhere that kicks people while they are down.

Removing the label

So the past weekend I was asked a question. I was asked when I became a Christian. To me, the word Christian is a label given by the world. It describes the kind of lifestyle you are trying to have. As the dictionary says it is someone who follows the teachings of Christ or someone who believes in Christ. To me, many people out there pretend to be or act like Christians but they aren't going to heaven. This label doesn't fit for me. I feel like I've surpassed it. The word Christian isn't in the bible. It's truely just a label given by the world. It's just so simple and just about anyone can be a "Christian" without doing much. I don't want to be just a follower. I don't just believe in Christ.

My mother claims to be a Christian. I don't know if she really is, by the world's standard she probably is. I, however, know that it isn't the same. I've shed the label. I'm not a Christian. I don't just follow Christ's teachings. I don't believe in Christ. I have a relationship with Him. He is my best friend and the only one I fully depend on.

As bad as it going to sound, the day I became a "Christian" wasn't anything special. Sure, I was saved and I had my "fire insurance." It wasn't a special day, nothing really exciting happened. I went to church and I tried to be a good person. What really made the difference in my life is when I started a relationship with Christ. When I started spending time in the bible and trying to learn about God that's when things changed. It took a long time for this to happen. Once I started treating it like a relationship things started to change. The huge mess of my life didn't seem to matter. There is an influence in my life changed. I can hear God clear, it's easier to feel His direction I actually feel awful when I don't obey. I really can't describe the feeling but it's just horrible. I almost can't function as a person. I trust Christ more than anything. Christ is the only one who means more to me than my husband. He is the only one that really matters. I love my husband, but Christ is more important.

It's a label given by the world and I refuse to use it to describe me because I don't just follow, I don't just believe. I have a relationship.

A pass because you are never told to see the wonders of God.

Very soon my husband and I will be parting ways. No we aren't getting a divorce. He is going to VA Beach to get some training. I'm off to Mexico to do something I do well, build houses and support Amor through their spring season. Because my husband loves me, he asked for a pass this weekend. We wanted to take me to the aquarium in Atlanta. Now Chief, as his called by the band folks ( I can him Jesse), calls my husband into his office to get some details before he approves it. James reminds him that we'll be apart for little over 2 months and he would like to take me to the aquarium. Chief gives James the aren't you to old to be going to places like that without children.

If it were up to me to respond this is what I would say to him. No, we aren't. See, we have this great and amazing God. For some reason beyond my ability to understand cares for us. God took his time at making all these amazing things. I find the things under the water to be extra neat. I'm just think it's so fascinating to see these creatures that God took the time to make. That's why I like the aquarium so much it gives the ability to see these creatures. I want to stand in awe at things God made. I want to stare into water and see animals and think of how great my God is. Then I'm going to smile a big smile. See, another thing about this amazing God is that He has a hobby. He's busy running the world, take care of this and that and watching over us, but He has a hobby. His hobby is making us, those that love Him back, smile. God likes to see us smile. It warms His heart. It probably makes His day when we smile because of works He did. So, Chief, I want to spend time with husband admiring the things God made. I want to stand there and think how awesome is that God created something just to make me happy.

Yes, I firmly believe that the only reason there are aquariums to make me smile. I have no doubt that when we get to heaven if you ask God what was the purpose of aquariums, he'll respond, "To make Michelle smile."

There's something out there that makes you smile. It's for you. God made it just for you. Go and enjoyed and don't forget to smile.

The failure that I am

Disclaimer: If you have me on a pedestal of being this great and wonderful Christian, I think that maybe you should remove from it before reading this. If you have me on a pedestal what you read here will probably cause me to fall off of it, I have a feeling that if I fall it might hurt you more than me. I just want to lie my heart out there and be honest with you. I warn you may not like what you read. If you start reading this you should read it to the end.

I'm a failure there is no way around. I have failed at many things. I have a long list of things I could have done better. I've failed as a daughter. My parents would never admit but I know that I have let them down, I have disappointed them. I've failed as sister. The relationship between my sister and I is such a mess there is no to see that it will ever be good. It was a mudslide that just started sliding and not the destruct is so awful, it's impossible to see anything good. I've failed as a teacher. My first two years of teaching were just so awful that fail is the only word I think to put to it. I've failed as Christian. I spent 3 years in a relationship with man, I shouldn't have even go on a date with. Because of that relationship I had an abortation. I got so discourage that I ran away from God.

I am a failure in the eyes of the world. I've made a huge mess with life. So I have a choice. I can be a failure. I can embrace and live that awful life that all failures live. Or I can embrace Jesus. I can accept the grace and mercy that God wants to pour out on me.

I have plans of cling to my new life verse. I found Philippians 3:14 a couple of weeks ago. I was doing a bible study for Thursday night Navigators that James and I go to. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. It's time for me to stop resting on verse that has God being the active one. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. See before God was the one doing all the work. That's fine when you are young Christian, but now that I'm an adult, now that I've grown in the Lord. It's time I start doing things. It's doesn't change that God is charge, but before I expected God to do all the work. I expected God to take care of everything. Now I need to faith that God will take care of me. I need to do things that show I'm thankful for what He has done.

So the failure that I am, is going to press on toward the goal God has called me to. I'm leaving the failures and focusing on my prize.

Uncommon packages or His plans are better.

As many of you know we are getting ready to go to Alaska. We decided that need a car with 4 wheel drive. So we made plans to sell our mazda 3. In fact, we were going to sell it to another couple in the band. But that's not what happened.

James had gotten a pass so we could be spend new years down in Tampa seeing my friend Jason. Along the way about 30 miles from our exit. I lost control of the mazda. I over corrected and it sent us spinning. We hit the guard rail in the middle. After all things were said and done. We didn't hit anyone else. We were out a car, set of jumper cables and apples to apples. We gather everything we can find and decided that is important to find in the car. They take it way. Jason comes to get us and we head to his cousin's house. James and I had gotten a hotel, but they insisted we stay there with them so we did. That weekend was a great way to start the new year. It has been a long time since I felt and overflow of blessings. Jason has the sweetest family I have ever meet. We ended up needing to stay an extra day and that wasn't a problem.

Before leaving on trip, James had sat down to change the coverage on the car. It being paid off we no longer needed full coverage on it. James got to the website and decided this was too much trouble and could wait until we got back from seeing Jason.

So the insurance company has to pay us almost full value of the car. We ended up with almost $12,000 which is more than we would sell it for it. We went car shopping and found a car we wanted. We talked them down to $22,00o for the car and put a $12,000 down payment on the car, so it's more than half paid off right now.

So blessing come in uncommon packages. I'm sure that even if we hadn't off been in an accident on the way there, Jason's family would have still been wonderful, but they were felt twice of wonderful because of the accident. So blessing don't come in pretty packages, sometimes they come in car accidents. I also feel like God said, "You have good plans, I'm glad you plan and think, but mine are better.

It's all in the plans

He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Psalm 147:4 (ESV)

God spent time creating everything. I'm pretty sure, He had it all planned out before hand. He took the time to count the stars. God knows how many stars are in the sky. Stop and think about that for a second. God can tell you how many stars probably just as quickly as a teacher can tell you how many students are in her class. This is a huge number and God knows it, most likely off the top of his head too. Now look at the rest of that verse: he gives to all of them their names. As He put them in their place he gave them a name. Other version says he calls them by name. Not only did He name, He remembers them and uses them. Just like a teacher who can tell you them name of all her students with very little thought, God can point to star and tell you its name. He took time to name the stars, this is something that seems unimportant. I can't think of a reason why the stars would even name the stars, but it was important to Him and He did it. What else has taken the time to invest in? What else was so important to Him that spent that much time on it? Try you and your life. God cares about the details.

You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8 (AMP)

He is the details. He even took the time to write them down. What you are doing and where you are going is so important that He took the time to write them down. Just like the stars, He took the time to count and record the events in your life. Nothing that you do is meaningless. People don't write down things that don't have purpose. You are so important to God that He took the time to count and record your events. It's funny, we don't even take the time to record our wanderings, yet God already has. It's in His book, I would even guess that He reads this book. You are so important to Him that he collects your tears and then writes about them. His tears matter to you. People only take the time to collect things that they think has value. Your tears have value to Him. I'm not sure what that value is, but I can tell you they matter to Him enough that He bottles them. Tears come in all kinds of setting people cry when they are sad, mad and even happy. It doesn't matter what kind they are He has them in bottle. He writes about them too.

The next time you begin to worry about something, remember He already has it written down. He knows what is going to happen. If you start cry remember, He's got bottle and for some reason He is saving those tears, He's adding them to His collection. They are important to Him.

There's a reason why it hurts

I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser. Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit He cuts away; and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit. You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the word which I have given you. Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. John 15:1-4 (AMP)

It seems that most often when this passages is brought up, they talk about the bearing fruit. There's another aspect in these verses. It's pruning. God prunes us sometimes. But what is pruning? Pruning is something that is done to help make plants healthier, produce fruit and helps that plant grow in a controlled form. When a gardener prunes a plant he doesn't do it all they time. In the very beginning, there is no pruning done, to help the plant grow strong roots. It's done during seasons. Normally in a season when the plant isn't growing. In the beginning the pruning is done to help the plant grow fruit. If a vine has several branches it will have trouble producing good fruit, so it is trimmed down to only a few branches. After that it is pruned to maintain the good fruit.

God does the same thing to us. In the beginning He doesn't do any pruning, so that we can grow strong in His word. He wants you to have our roots firmly planted in Him. As we grow, that's when the pruning starts. First God starts pruning us so that we can be healthier in Him. We start to understand the need for changes in our life. We try and reflect God's character more and more. He then starts to produce so that we can bear fruit. We need to bear the fruit of the spirit. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT) After we start to bear these fruits God will prunes to keep our growth and fruit produce under control.

Pruning looks like different things. God will send us through trails and hard times to help us. God will allow the devil to tempt you in order to prune you. Pruning doesn't have a standard way of being done. Each person is different and God prunes according to how He wants to use you. Sometimes it hurts. Pruning can be very painful. One thing to bear in mind is that happen in seasons. You may feel awesome and like there is much growth going on. Your walk with God maybe amazing and you may be doing a lot. Then it changes. Life may get hard. Just remember maybe God is pruning for great and bigger things.

Some pruning is cutting things. There maybe habits that are unhealthy or produce bad fruit. In time, God will prune these away. You may have a person in your life that needs to be pruned. People that have negative effects in life need to be pruned away. I'm not saying avoid people. Sometimes spending time with Negative Nancy begins to rub off on you. Maybe spending time with these people one on one isn't a good idea. Sometimes even responsibilities need to be pruned. It's ok to say no. If you are doing something and it's taking away time from that something that is good in your life, like God, or your family. Do you really need to be doing it? Everybody has some kind of fluff that could be pruned away too.

Don't be scared of getting pruned. If you feel like God is pruning, think about what is being cut away and what fruit it might help you produce. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, they all help you reflect God, they all help you be more Christ like. Reflect on what's happening and try to gain some understanding of what God is doing. You don't enjoy fruit that is bad, bitter, and sour. Do you want to produce rotten, ugly, sour fruit or would you like to produce good, beautiful, sweet fruit? After God puts down the shears, He takes care of the plant giving it all the things a plant needs to grow.

Sure, it hurts, it's painful, but when something is being cut away doesn't it hurt? But in the end you'll be better.

Something that is impossible

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. Psalm 139:7-12 (NIV)


Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? Psalm 139:7 (MSG)

It just isn't possible to run away from God. There are times in your life that you may want to run away from Him, but you can't. He'll follow you and guide you and help you. He delights in watching over you.

Life may get hard. You get upset or disappointed, or even frustrated with life and God. You can't run from Him. Jonah ran from God. The word of the LORD came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me." But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD. Jonah 1:1-3 (NIV) Jonah didn't like what God told him to do, so Jonah ran away from the Lord. It did him no good. God sent a storm. Jonah was thrown over board, eaten by fish. Only to end up on where God had told him to go.

It's doesn't matter what is going on in your life you can't run from God. I've tried it. I was frustrated with God, nothing seemed to be working out to me. I was very mad at God. So I packed my bags, I got on a plane and flew to Korea. Thinking the whole time I was running away from. I ran away from God so hard and so fast, that I ended up in His arm. Even though I thought I was running away, God was really guiding back to Him. In that time of running, I grew as a person, and in my relationship God by leaps and bounds. It's so amazing that even though I was trying to get away, God wouldn't let me.

That's the great thing about God. Once you have asked Him into life, He doesn't walk away. He doesn't leave you. He will guide you and be with until the end. If you have ran away and it feels like you are lost and He isn't there. It's ok. Start looking for Him, call out to Him. Jonah cried out God and God had the fish vomit. God will take you back. You mean the world to Him. He gave up his place in heaven so that you could have spot. He never took away even when you started. Just remember He'll guide you. He's already forgiven you for running away, just run back.

2010 done and over with.

For those of you who didn't get our Christmas letter here it is.

In January, James got to visit Michelle. While on that visit James and Michelle introduced each other to their families. James also proposed to Michelle on beach in California. Shortly after that James returned to Fort Rucker. Michelle stayed in Phoenix.
In February, James got promoted to the rank of Sergeant and because of this promotion was required to go to Warrior Leader Course or WLC at Fort Stewart, GA. He also reenlisted for six more years pushing his Estimated Time of Separation or ETS out to 2016. Michelle went on the Tapestry retreat to Prescott, AZ. Jill Rhodes was the speaker and Michelle was blessed by Jill speaking about God being our refuge.
In March, the lovely Mary Beth had her wedding to Ben. Michelle flew out to Fort Rucker just before the wedding. James and Michelle then drove up to Fort Belvoir, VA to attend it. James played for the entrance of the bride and the recessional. After returning from that, Michelle then made her way out to San Diego, CA and spent two weeks working Project Barnabas for Amor Ministries. One of the groups Michelle worked with was Yuba City which was the group James went with during high school.
In April and May, nothing exciting happened.
In June, Michelle flew out to Fort Rucker to visit James for his birthday and James got to show off his new Eclipse trumpet that he bought with part of his reenlistment bonus.
In July, Michelle, Kate, Kari, and Angela drove up to Marysville, while James flew into San Francisco. James and Michelle went to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom. Michelle got swim with dolphins and James wished he had swum with the dolphins. James and Michelle had their wedding. Then James, Michelle, Kate, Kari, and Angela returned to Phoenix where they had a reception at Royal Palms Baptist Church for Michelle’s friends and family who couldn’t make it to the wedding. Michelle and James then drove to Fort Rucker across the south…..in the summer……without air conditioning.
In August, Michelle’s things from Phoenix arrived and she spent several days unpacking and wondering where a box was when all the stuff was here already. James and Michelle found a church home at a small church in Daleville, Daleville Baptist Church.
In September, Michelle needed a minor outpatient surgery, and everything went well. One of the other band wives started to teach a fitness class at church in Enterprise and needed someone to do childcare. She asked Michelle and that started a job for Michelle. It has grown into a three day week for a couple of hours, and every now again it adds another day.
In October, James got word of getting orders for Alaska. Michelle looked into becoming certified in AK. She signed up to take the Praxis I all three reading, writing and math. However, she only passed the math. James and Michelle helped out at 5th quarter, which is a ministry of DBC. It gives the students of Daleville grades 7 thru 12 somewhere to go after the football games. This opened the door to them helping out with the youth group. So now Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings are spent in the Basement with the youth.
In November, Michelle tried the Praxis I reading again and was successful. Michelle also decided it time to do something about the pain in her hip and started physical therapy for it again. This time around seems to be a little more successful. James and Michelle spent Thanksgiving with 98th army band. Also we received orders for Alaska, however, still needed to receive the amendments to the orders because James got accepted into Advanced Leaders Course or ALC. We no longer share ownership of the Mazda with the bank.
The first two weeks of December were a very busy time of the year for James. Many concerts and parades were scheduled for the band. One concert in Ozark, one concert on post and one concert in Panama City, FL. The second half of December looks to be very relaxing with much time spent with each other. As the year winds down we both realize how blessed we both have been and sincerely hope that 2011 is half as wonderful as 2010 has been.
Just so you have an idea what next year has in store for us. James will spend a little less than 2 months in Virginia Beach at the US Army School of Music for ALC. Michelle will look for a job as teacher in Alaska for the 2011-2012 school year. We are hoping it is a rural school because the Alaskan government will then supply a house at no cost. We will be moving to Alaska in summer.