Disclaimer: If you have me on a pedestal of being this great and wonderful Christian, I think that maybe you should remove from it before reading this. If you have me on a pedestal what you read here will probably cause me to fall off of it, I have a feeling that if I fall it might hurt you more than me. I just want to lie my heart out there and be honest with you. I warn you may not like what you read. If you start reading this you should read it to the end.
I'm a failure there is no way around. I have failed at many things. I have a long list of things I could have done better. I've failed as a daughter. My parents would never admit but I know that I have let them down, I have disappointed them. I've failed as sister. The relationship between my sister and I is such a mess there is no to see that it will ever be good. It was a mudslide that just started sliding and not the destruct is so awful, it's impossible to see anything good. I've failed as a teacher. My first two years of teaching were just so awful that fail is the only word I think to put to it. I've failed as Christian. I spent 3 years in a relationship with man, I shouldn't have even go on a date with. Because of that relationship I had an abortation. I got so discourage that I ran away from God.
I am a failure in the eyes of the world. I've made a huge mess with life. So I have a choice. I can be a failure. I can embrace and live that awful life that all failures live. Or I can embrace Jesus. I can accept the grace and mercy that God wants to pour out on me.
I have plans of cling to my new life verse. I found Philippians 3:14 a couple of weeks ago. I was doing a bible study for Thursday night Navigators that James and I go to. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. It's time for me to stop resting on verse that has God being the active one. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. See before God was the one doing all the work. That's fine when you are young Christian, but now that I'm an adult, now that I've grown in the Lord. It's time I start doing things. It's doesn't change that God is charge, but before I expected God to do all the work. I expected God to take care of everything. Now I need to faith that God will take care of me. I need to do things that show I'm thankful for what He has done.
So the failure that I am, is going to press on toward the goal God has called me to. I'm leaving the failures and focusing on my prize.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Uncommon packages or His plans are better.
As many of you know we are getting ready to go to Alaska. We decided that need a car with 4 wheel drive. So we made plans to sell our mazda 3. In fact, we were going to sell it to another couple in the band. But that's not what happened.
James had gotten a pass so we could be spend new years down in Tampa seeing my friend Jason. Along the way about 30 miles from our exit. I lost control of the mazda. I over corrected and it sent us spinning. We hit the guard rail in the middle. After all things were said and done. We didn't hit anyone else. We were out a car, set of jumper cables and apples to apples. We gather everything we can find and decided that is important to find in the car. They take it way. Jason comes to get us and we head to his cousin's house. James and I had gotten a hotel, but they insisted we stay there with them so we did. That weekend was a great way to start the new year. It has been a long time since I felt and overflow of blessings. Jason has the sweetest family I have ever meet. We ended up needing to stay an extra day and that wasn't a problem.
Before leaving on trip, James had sat down to change the coverage on the car. It being paid off we no longer needed full coverage on it. James got to the website and decided this was too much trouble and could wait until we got back from seeing Jason.
So the insurance company has to pay us almost full value of the car. We ended up with almost $12,000 which is more than we would sell it for it. We went car shopping and found a car we wanted. We talked them down to $22,00o for the car and put a $12,000 down payment on the car, so it's more than half paid off right now.
So blessing come in uncommon packages. I'm sure that even if we hadn't off been in an accident on the way there, Jason's family would have still been wonderful, but they were felt twice of wonderful because of the accident. So blessing don't come in pretty packages, sometimes they come in car accidents. I also feel like God said, "You have good plans, I'm glad you plan and think, but mine are better.
James had gotten a pass so we could be spend new years down in Tampa seeing my friend Jason. Along the way about 30 miles from our exit. I lost control of the mazda. I over corrected and it sent us spinning. We hit the guard rail in the middle. After all things were said and done. We didn't hit anyone else. We were out a car, set of jumper cables and apples to apples. We gather everything we can find and decided that is important to find in the car. They take it way. Jason comes to get us and we head to his cousin's house. James and I had gotten a hotel, but they insisted we stay there with them so we did. That weekend was a great way to start the new year. It has been a long time since I felt and overflow of blessings. Jason has the sweetest family I have ever meet. We ended up needing to stay an extra day and that wasn't a problem.
Before leaving on trip, James had sat down to change the coverage on the car. It being paid off we no longer needed full coverage on it. James got to the website and decided this was too much trouble and could wait until we got back from seeing Jason.
So the insurance company has to pay us almost full value of the car. We ended up with almost $12,000 which is more than we would sell it for it. We went car shopping and found a car we wanted. We talked them down to $22,00o for the car and put a $12,000 down payment on the car, so it's more than half paid off right now.
So blessing come in uncommon packages. I'm sure that even if we hadn't off been in an accident on the way there, Jason's family would have still been wonderful, but they were felt twice of wonderful because of the accident. So blessing don't come in pretty packages, sometimes they come in car accidents. I also feel like God said, "You have good plans, I'm glad you plan and think, but mine are better.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
It's all in the plans
He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Psalm 147:4 (ESV)
God spent time creating everything. I'm pretty sure, He had it all planned out before hand. He took the time to count the stars. God knows how many stars are in the sky. Stop and think about that for a second. God can tell you how many stars probably just as quickly as a teacher can tell you how many students are in her class. This is a huge number and God knows it, most likely off the top of his head too. Now look at the rest of that verse: he gives to all of them their names. As He put them in their place he gave them a name. Other version says he calls them by name. Not only did He name, He remembers them and uses them. Just like a teacher who can tell you them name of all her students with very little thought, God can point to star and tell you its name. He took time to name the stars, this is something that seems unimportant. I can't think of a reason why the stars would even name the stars, but it was important to Him and He did it. What else has taken the time to invest in? What else was so important to Him that spent that much time on it? Try you and your life. God cares about the details.
You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8 (AMP)
He is the details. He even took the time to write them down. What you are doing and where you are going is so important that He took the time to write them down. Just like the stars, He took the time to count and record the events in your life. Nothing that you do is meaningless. People don't write down things that don't have purpose. You are so important to God that He took the time to count and record your events. It's funny, we don't even take the time to record our wanderings, yet God already has. It's in His book, I would even guess that He reads this book. You are so important to Him that he collects your tears and then writes about them. His tears matter to you. People only take the time to collect things that they think has value. Your tears have value to Him. I'm not sure what that value is, but I can tell you they matter to Him enough that He bottles them. Tears come in all kinds of setting people cry when they are sad, mad and even happy. It doesn't matter what kind they are He has them in bottle. He writes about them too.
The next time you begin to worry about something, remember He already has it written down. He knows what is going to happen. If you start cry remember, He's got bottle and for some reason He is saving those tears, He's adding them to His collection. They are important to Him.
God spent time creating everything. I'm pretty sure, He had it all planned out before hand. He took the time to count the stars. God knows how many stars are in the sky. Stop and think about that for a second. God can tell you how many stars probably just as quickly as a teacher can tell you how many students are in her class. This is a huge number and God knows it, most likely off the top of his head too. Now look at the rest of that verse: he gives to all of them their names. As He put them in their place he gave them a name. Other version says he calls them by name. Not only did He name, He remembers them and uses them. Just like a teacher who can tell you them name of all her students with very little thought, God can point to star and tell you its name. He took time to name the stars, this is something that seems unimportant. I can't think of a reason why the stars would even name the stars, but it was important to Him and He did it. What else has taken the time to invest in? What else was so important to Him that spent that much time on it? Try you and your life. God cares about the details.
You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book? Psalm 56:8 (AMP)
He is the details. He even took the time to write them down. What you are doing and where you are going is so important that He took the time to write them down. Just like the stars, He took the time to count and record the events in your life. Nothing that you do is meaningless. People don't write down things that don't have purpose. You are so important to God that He took the time to count and record your events. It's funny, we don't even take the time to record our wanderings, yet God already has. It's in His book, I would even guess that He reads this book. You are so important to Him that he collects your tears and then writes about them. His tears matter to you. People only take the time to collect things that they think has value. Your tears have value to Him. I'm not sure what that value is, but I can tell you they matter to Him enough that He bottles them. Tears come in all kinds of setting people cry when they are sad, mad and even happy. It doesn't matter what kind they are He has them in bottle. He writes about them too.
The next time you begin to worry about something, remember He already has it written down. He knows what is going to happen. If you start cry remember, He's got bottle and for some reason He is saving those tears, He's adding them to His collection. They are important to Him.
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