Just so you know

I've been told several times over the past several months about how brave I am because I'm going to become an army wife. That it takes a very special type of person to be an army wife. An army wife has to be independent.

I just think I should straighten things out. First off, I'm not brave at all. I shake on the inside. I'm scared of change and the thought of newness overwhelms. This is the person who walked through security at the airport bailing after saying good-bye to my parents and Kelly the day I left for Korea. I was also running away from problems on that day too. As for being independent, I'm the farther-est thing from it. I need people. I count on them. I love people.

What I do know is this. James is amazing and I love him more than I can express. That God is sufficient. I just have to depend on Him. He will make me into that woman that is an army wife. It doesn't matter that I'm not that brave. This isn't about how brave I am, but willingness. I'm willing to leave everything behind and embrace this new life with James. The greatest part about all this is that I have the guarantee that I'm not doing this alone. James will go with me. When the army sends James away, I'll still have God and that's all need.

So honestly, I'm only pretending to be excited. Deep down, I'm scared half death. I can't tell you where I'm going to live or even what kind of job I'll have next year. What does matter is that God will go before and James will go with.