Definition of PARADIGM
2: an example of a conjugation or declension showing a word in all its inflectional forms
3:
a philosophical and theoretical framework of a scientific school or
discipline within which theories, laws, and generalizations and the
experiments performed in support of them are formulated; broadly : a philosophical or theoretical framework of any kind
It's how you view the world. So what happens when it shifts? What happens when it starts to change? Really it depends on who is doing the shifting. I do my best not to the let the world shift my paradigm. I try to look at the world through a Christian paradigm. So what do you do when God is the one shifting the paradigm?
This is what I've been going through lately. God has used this summer to change my paradigm on a few things. He, however, didn't ask if this who I wanted to spend my summer. Especially shifting these paradigms. Of course, I'll admit that if He would have asked me my thoughts on changing these paradigms, I would have told Him that I'm perfectly happy with my views and can't we have a nice relaxing summer with no friction. That maybe why I wasn't asked.
On shift of paradigm, I'll admit I probably walked right into on my own accord and didn't realize it until it was too late. I was the one who chose to study Esther. Although I could argue that it through the promoting of the Spirit, I started listen to Tony Evan's podcast. Tony Evan's had said in one of his podcast that the name of God wasn't in the book of Esther. How could this not intrigue me, God knew the minute I head something like that I would look to investigate it. So, maybe He did lead me to it. You could argue that I didn't have to follow. Anyways let's leave that rabbit and get back to the shift in my paradigm. I had this firm belief that if God was silent, it was your fault. God doesn't move, we do. Well, not so much anymore. I already have this deep supernatural connection to God through his spirit. It doesn't matter what I do, I feel close to God, I know He is there whether I remember to have a quiet time or not. One day, I noticed a lack in the Spirit department. This was hard on me. I quickly spent days thinking about what I could have done to move. The more I thought the more I realized I didn't move. Of course about a day or 2 before I notice the absent Spirit, I was watching a Beth Moore session on her Esther study and she talked about how she had the Spirit left and she felt like she was going to die, and then when He came back it just overwhelmed. Upon hearing this, my thought, "Thank God, you have never done anything like that to me, I would die if you did something like that to me." I had a response come from within my heart, "You wouldn't die." "Well, ok, I wouldn't die, but I go back to the depression mess I was before I really found in Korea." I thought. Response from my heart, "Are you sure?" "Well, I'd become a mess and wouldn't know what to do at the very least." I responded. "Are you sure?" Well, I can tell you I didn't die, and I didn't become a depression mess either. I did keep plugging on and then I started begging Him to come back. Right before I was about to become a mess, I tripped and found God in a new way. I learned the importance of a silent. The things He showed after being so desperate from Him was amazing. He made Himself silent, so He could truly whisper and I would hear. So the next time it feels like God moved, maybe he didn't, maybe he went silent to get your attention. I can tell my spirit is better align with His now.
So now on to the other paradigm shifting. God has been working on my view and thoughts on what church is to me. We've been attending a rather large church for the past 2 years. The people are nice and friendly. They are areas for both James and I to serve. Pastor Eric is insightful and shines the light on the Scripture so well. So what could be wrong? I don't feel like I belong. I can honestly say I have no real deep connection to this church. I have maybe 3 people I feel really connected to. For me, this really hard to deal with. Church is where I go to feel like I belong and connected to people. Back in high school, when I started this whole church thing, it was most of the appeal to it. These people liked me, included and were all around great people. Nothing like high school. For me, those four years weren't the greatest years of life, they were awful miserable and a lot like Chinese water torture. That's a lot like how I was feeling at church minus the Chinese water torture. I was highly confuse and upset that God would lead us to place that would be so like high school for me. I became to demand and explanation to this. See, I was listening to Rick Warren, and he had said that if you are unhappy and have complaints God really does want to hear them. He wants you to take his complaints to him. So that's what did. At first I got nothing. I really need to understand why I was at church I didn't belong. He started responding with things like. This is where I want you to serve. This where you will be useful. This is where I want to be. Only until recently I got a little more on this shifting paradigm. Church isn't about you and what you need out of it. It's about God and how I can serve and glorify him. Even though I don't really want to admit this, church was about me and what I could get out of it. The church was there to serve me and my needs. Then I began to wonder why for the past 15 years He let me have this view that it was about me belonging. God made a valid argument. How else was He suppose to get me into this relationship without appealing to one of my greatest needs at the time. I was so insecure and unsure about everything at that point in my life, how else was I suppose to meet the only one out there could fix everything and be what I needed without appealing to my greatest need. Now that myself image is ground Christ, now that my self worth comes from Christ. I have my phone refer to me as Child of the One True King, that's how much I identify myself with the image of me in Christ. Shouldn't He start changing things about how I look things to better suit who I am in Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment